Dear Editor
We live in strange and troubling times, nowhere more so than in our subsidised Western Isles council canteen where SNP councillors avoid the main course prime cuts by going straight to the dessert to indulge in their favourite pastime of ‘deserting’.
Meanwhile, fresh from a hearty prime sirloin steak lunch, our council convener gravely informs us that wholesome home-cooked meals presently fed to many elderly and vulnerable island residents will be replaced by a cheap down-market menu of processed meats that have as likely been sliced from the carcase of a past runner in the 2.45 at Newmarket as from a healthy heifer reared on croftland in the Lewis village of that same name.
The convener tells us these economies have been forced on the Comhairle due to spending cuts imposed on the Council by the SNP-led Holyrood Government, who in turn tell us they had to cut the Western Isles council budget due to financial constraints enforced by the Tory/LibDem UK Government.
Could this be the same ‘cash strapped’ Scottish Government who only a few short weeks ago opened their coffers to give a £1.9 million financial handout disguised as a grant to a group of wealthy investors planning to build a gin/whisky distillery on the Isle of Harris?
How very typical of modern day Scotland,where those at the back of the queue already too demoralised to complain are offered an unwholesome goulash of dubious pedigree,while the more affluent and well-connected are served a roasted golden goose stuffed with public money (remember the bankers!) ,washed down by a free round of treble whiskies on the Holyrood house.
Personally, I’ve never been mesmerised by the myths surrounding Scotch whisky. Stripped of its false romanticism, the modern day Scottish drinks industry is no more than a multinational supplier of mass produced alcoholic beverages. There are of course honourable exceptions such as the small-scale Abhainn Dearg distillery
For reasons shortly to become apparent, I now digress from alcohol to that other widely available socially acceptable drug: nicotine. Like many of my generation, no hedonistic youthful soiree was complete without both stimulants. Whilst sipping a glass of Famous Grouse, I inhaled the nicotine through a generously filled roll-up of finest Golden Virginia tobacco. Some of my more sophisticated fellow smokers chose brand name filter tips, while my more wayward companions had more exotic tastes in their choice of weed.
Possibly due to some psychological or genetic quirk.I developed an abnormally high sensitivity to the aromas given off by the various tobacco flavours. Once I’d identified the brand name, it was retained in my memory for instant retrieval.
Prior to the smoking ban, the Stornoway harbour hostelries of my youth offered a heady mix of international aromas. Without leaving the saloon bar, I could tell if there was a foreign ship in port and even locate its home country simply by sniffing the air for unusual tobacco aromas. French, Spanish, Scandinavian and Eastern Bloc crewmen all smoked their own distinctive brands which I could instantly identify.
My 15-year relationship with nicotine turned sour as it gradually dawned that I’d become an obedient servant on call 24/7 to a demanding and tyrannical master from whom I eventually struggled free a number of years ago. Many other people find themselves in a similar servant/master relationship with Scotch whisky and other alcoholic beverages.
There are other similarities between alcoholic drinks and carcinogenic (cancer causing ) cigarettes; both products can be highly addictive with undesirable side-effects which can exact a high price from their users and immediate family. The human and financial cost of smoking and alcohol-related ailments in Scotland, including the Western Isles, is truly shocking. Smokers and drinkers are also penalised by governments who treat them as a collective cash cow from which to milk tax revenues.
This particular cow eventually kicked the milk-bucket away but paradoxically since stopping smoking my sense of smell has so improved that I’ve developed a hypersensitivity to tobacco flavours and still retain a fondness for the sweet aroma of slow-burning Golden Virginia, the merest hint of which I can detect in the air over great distances. Although now a non-smoker, I still retain the ability to identify any international brand name of cigarette after the briefest exposure to its distinctive aroma. This is a specialist expertise which I thought was of little value…… until now.
Given that alcohol and tobacco are inextricably linked,what could more perfectly compliment a Harris produced whisky than a Lewis manufactured cigarette?
My own unusual natural aptitude and accumulated expertise in this area would be invaluable in producing a special cigarette blend unique to Lewis, which would turn my home island into a destination on the tobacco trail of discerning smokers worldwide. I already have exciting plans for adding local ingredients to the imported tobacco leaves
Obviously, I would need access to Scottish Government financial grants to maintain a comfortable lifestyle while conducting the extensive time-consuming research and testing of the product prior to bringing it to market, and therein lies the problem.
Coming from an uncultured Uigeach, such a request for financial assistance would be given short shrift. But coming from the mouth of a well connected person of refined accent, my proposal may be looked on more favourably by those entrusted with dispensing public money to worthy causes. I am now looking for a business partner who fits the bill. Anyone interested?
Everyone will be greatly relieved to learn that I won’t be raiding the public purse in my quest to become an island tobacco baron because this proposed business venture is proceeding no further than my imagination.
But before laying the proposal to rest, a final question for those who’ve followed the reasoning behind this letter. What in principle would be the moral difference between me and my hypothetical business associate pocketing £1.9 million of public money to establish a carcinogenic cigarette-making factory in Lewis or pocketing a similar amount to site a gin/whisky distillery in Harris?
Yours faithfully
Iain M Macdonald
Miavaig
PS – I wrote the above letter in the hope of having it published through the mainstream local media believing the topics raised might be of interest to a wider readership. But once more my freedom of speech has been curtailed for unexplained reasons by those who think themselves so superior that they don’t even have to give a reason.
Being denied non-abusive free speech should not be taken lying down, given the sacrifices made by previous generations so that we might exercise that privilege. So, instead of climbing onto a soapbox to lecture about the evils of bullying others into submission by removing their legitimate free speech, a more practical example of the adverse consequences on each individual can best be illustrated by withdrawing their right of reply to the above letter.
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