The Secret Diary of Ruaraidh Ferguson, age 53 and a half
(PUBLISHED WITH APOLOGIES TO SUE TOWNSEND, AUTHOR OF THE SECRET DIARY OF ADRIAN MOLE, AGED 13¾)
May 7 – Well, that’s it all over and done with. Personally a fairly humbling experience but thanks to all who gave me your vote. I arrived at the count at about 12.00 by which time the only thing left to be decided was who would come third or fourth between the Christian Party and the Conservatives.
Ruaraidh hints he may not stand again
The LibDems throughout Scotland took an absolute battering with the question earlier posed by Fios now looking highly intuitive. I think we were always on a hiding but when Clegg said he wouldn’t work in coalition with the SNP, even I as a LibDem candidate was highly offended over the arrogant refusal to accept the will of the Scottish electorate.
If there are any dubious votes the returning officer gathers the representatives of the parties around, shows them the ballot paper and explains his decision as to allow the vote or not. In most cases this is fairly straightforward however there were two highlights in this procedure.
One obviously highly-perceptive member of the electorate filled in his or her form as follows:
- Brown Rude word associated with banker
- Cormack Rude word associated with banker
- Ferguson Good Guy
- MacNeil Rude word associated with banker
- Morrison Rude word associated with banker
Another ballot paper was marked with a kiss, some amorous man, or woman, had applied lipstick then kissed the box on the ballot paper next to Mr Brown. It was great that both ballot papers were allowed as there was obviously an indication of who the voter wanted to vote for. Mr Brown was due to leave on Friday but I understand he is now trying to trace all Labrador owners in the Western Isles.
The LibDems in Scotland are holding a meeting today in Edinburgh to discuss the election, I put my radical thoughts on paper to them but I’m not hopeful that there will be sufficient courage to tackle the problem, which I don’t think is down to policy or personnel
There also seems to be something strange happening with LibDem membership, over 5,000 new members since we got annihilated on Thursday. Absolutely bizarre.
Five years of unfettered Tory rule to come with Cameron having to manage his backbenchers whilst at the same time the SNP have to manage the expectations of their membership. It will be interesting to watch from the sidelines but not if you are one of the innocents caught in the fall out.
One last rant about the voting system. Four million voters to elect one UKIP MP, 1.5 million voters to elect 56 SNP MPs. It can’t possibly be right. Three hundred and sixty five days to the next election. I think the Lib/Dems are looking for a candidate if anyone fancies a go.
I agree that the electoral system is past its sell-by date, but isn’t it fairly recently that the Great British Public voted clearly to stick with it?
That the major parties have hitherto favoured the first past the post system is understandable, if one accepts the idea of power coming ahead of democracy. Because of course proportional representation would on the whole probably result in coalitions of various hues. Perhaps not good for the party stalwarts, but great for the elecorate in that it would require cooperation rather than confrontation, and hinders the implementation of the more extreme ideas.
However, as an SNP member I confess that this time round I’m kind’a glad that the PR I believe in, didn’t apply….
I’ll do it Ruaraidh, where do i sign?!
Its probably worth very little after the event but i want to congratulate you on your approach to the entire campaign.
Im smart enough to know that the Lib/Dems were never going to win but i think you were a credit to your Party in the way you approached the last few weeks. A bit of humour and an explanation of the process goes a long way. Ive genuinely learned more about the election mechanism through your comments than i have from the numerous glossy pages shoved through my door or the posters nailed to lampposts.
The fact that 1000 people voted for that Christian Party lunatic ahead of yourself makes me despair for the Island ,it really does….. maybe you had a thankless task.
Good guy! Best of luck in the future.
It’s not so much the vote count as the participating [but then again I would say that].
Well what a shockeroonie that was Ruaraidh, with the Tories back in and Scotland like a yellow submarine ( not a trident one obviously ) with the SNP sweeping the boards and Nigel, who went then came back, in third place in England!
Nicola is the cleverest of them all though, frightening us with the Tories, then frightening the English by herself, locking the Tories out of Downing Street with her Full Fiscal Austerity, and she got Cameron back in with no one to hold him back, and his cuts will be worse than anything a Stornoway butcher could do to a leg of lamb.
And of course our own jack the lad, Angus Brendan, got in with a bigger majority than anyone, I called in to offer my congratulations yesterday but the office was still shut while they sober up.
I hear rumours from London, where Angus Brendan lives, that he is going to be the new Shadow Secretary of Defence and Foreign Affairs and I hope he is, and he is not caught in the crossfire while Salmond, Robertson and Sturgeon fight it out over who is going to be top dog in London, my money if I had any would be on Salmond because of his sheer size and my husband agrees from his perch in the North Sea, he went back there on Friday just to keep his job for a wee while.
Cathy is still in the doldrums not coming out and wearing dark glasses inside, keeping an eye out the window in case anyone is skipping happily past her window so she can let the dog out to give them a fright.
SY GAL, you just do not know when when you are beaten. The people of the Western Isles and Scotland have spoken very loudly. Time to give up with your innuendos and bile.
Ruaridh, on your final point SNP got 1.5 million votes in 59 seats, UKIP needed over 600 seats to get 4 million.
Oh my word, what a touchy Truaghan, what would you be like if you had won, I think you should sort out your own inyourendo and bile yer heid (Cathy suggested that) before you cast your stones far and wide. I will of course not be silenced because it amuses me, if not you Truaghan, to make my own observations on life in the New Free Scotland, and more often than not it will not be to your liking, the same as your stuff is not to mine. After all free speech and freedom of expression and thought is still available to some of us, and I am sure you would not like to see that stopped in any way.
Maybe you are slightly jealous of my superior literary skills and wit Truaghan, but we cannot all be as good as I am, or so the Manor Ladies tell me when I keep them amused at out tea parties, which is not easy.
Maybe you should come along sometime Truaghan, you may find it difficult to communicate with a mouthful of my mother’s duff, but who knows you might make more sense than your written stuff.
Sy Gal , please do not tempt the Truaghan any further with your seductive offer of a slice of duff. His boorish and discourteous presence amongst the refined ladies of Manor Park would lower the whole tone of your evening soirées . He would probably arrive in wellingtons and dungarees , with a copy of the SNP manifesto stuffed in his back pocket . Avoid !