Iain Maciver writes …

EVEN if occasional Lewis resident Molly Miller Mundy, age 23, is not having a fling with Sir Mick Jagger, who is 65, at least the whole kerfuffle has certainly made everyone think more about ages, relationships and what age gap we think is acceptable.

While many claim the only important thing is that they are both over the age of consent – and I believe he is that – others will take an altogether more pessimistic view. The spoilsports, I mean.

We have a Gaelic word for him. Mick Jagger is a bodach. You pronounce it as you would in English – bod-ach – but you put more emphasis on the bod.Try it. See? It ju t means older gentleman and is much more descriptive and appropriate and friendly than, say, OAP.

I hope the gossip is true. With Molly’s father living up here, the happy couple could soon be snapped late at night falling out of glitzy Stornoway nightspots.

If they want my advice, they had better stick to the places that George Gawk doesn’t go. No self-respecting rock legend would want to hear him go on ad nauseum about the achievements of Gordon Brown and Brian Wilson.

Yet the more I think about it the more I am inclined to believe it is all just utter nonsense. There would be too many jokes about Sir Mick’s past hits. If they did hitch up, people would say (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction was her special song. Would Mick ever again get away with singing Time Is On My Side?

While we know all old rockers want to Not Fade Away, the beknighted warbler may soon have to just gaze longingly humming I Just Wanna Make Love To You. Might a much younger partner take to ruefully singing It’s All Over Now?

What about bandmate Ronnie Wood who has a determined Russian waif in tow. The age difference there is only, oh yes, also about 42. So Mick could just say all he wants is to Doo Ron Ron. Sorry, that wasn’t the Stones. Forget I said that.

There are some strong women who are not prepared to just fade away either. Like former queen of the sofa Selina Scott who says it was ageist of Five News not to give an old timer like her a wee job.

But Selina, who famously came over to film Prince Charles with Splash and Gloria MacKillop on Berneray, wanted that job and is jolly well going to fight them. She says she is going to sue Five News for giving it to a wee lassie who, not that long ago, worked for this very newspaper. Gorgeous pouting young thing Isla Traquair got the stand-in news job while the regular newsreader, £1million-a-year stunner Natasha Kaplinsky, went off to have her baby boy.

Like Selina, Ms Traquair is also fondly remembered in these parts. She came over quite a few times during her stint with STV and, yes, we were on assignment together more than once. Isla was recognised in Ludag, Luskentyre and Leurbost. She tells how one ardent admirer travelled from the islands to Aberdeen to hand her a box of Milk Tray. That must have been worth a wee snog on the cheek, surely.

Another STV glamourpuss was over here recently and was accosted outside Bain Morrison, the builders’ merchant. A dedicated viewer, a man called Roddy who used to work on the ferry, spotted Nicola McAlley and galloped over to tell her that he and his wee dog liked nothing better than curling up on the sofa to see what exotic location Nicola was reporting from.

As Nicola is based in Inverness, it is usually council headquarters or Porterfield Prison but he didn’t care. As long as he got a glimpse of Nicola and that awfully cheeky, wee smile.

La Scott used to be so nice to everyone. Up in Stornoway during the filming with the heir to the throne, she stayed at the Caberfeidh Hotel. As she had a very early flight to catch, the night porter at the time made her breakfast and checked her out. So entranced was he with the vision of loveliness handing over her room key and slipping her warm American Express card into his cold hand that the porter failed to notice that the card had expired.

Happily, the bill was paid and Jimmy Ogilvie kept his job. Now resident in Ogilvie Towers in Keith Street, the house with the Not Open To The Public sign at the door, he still fondly recalls that morning with Selina.

Young girls are so impressed with his tales of famous people he has met that they are often banging on his door at midnight, he tells me. Sometimes, Jimmy adds, he even gets up to let them out.

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Published in the Press and Journal on October 1, 2008